Bamboozled

Barbarian, Consumer of rotten spider meat.

Description:

Bamboozled doesn’t let people call him bamboozled. He hates that nickname. It was given to him to mock his illiteracy.

Bamboozled was always large, he was over four foot tall when he hit his second birthday, and was hitched to a plow at age 6 because he was as strong and stubborn as any plow mule. Bamboozled would often be teased by the other members of his tribe for his slow wit, but never to his face, always in hushed whispers.

One day, while plowing the fields, Bamboozled heard a cry of fear. Unleashing himself from the plow, he rushed to his small cottage to see what was going on. When he got inside he saw a large 8 legged rock sithilid, notorious for their nasty bite and taste for human flesh, had cornered his mother. Upon seeing the creature swipe at his mother Bamboozled blacked out.

When he awoke, Bamboozled was in chains. The rest of his clan had come upon his shack and found the body of the rock sithid torn limb from limb as if from some beastial animal, and the body of his mother, also torn limb from limb. Unable to control his rage, bamboozled feared he had done the unthinkable. Rather than kill him, Chief 9 fingers banished him from the tribe.

Bamboozled set out across the land with only a pair of crude axes and a loincloth, fighting to survive and haunted by the possibility that he may have slain his own mother. He often has nightmares of watching a young rock sithilid tear his mother apart only to look down and see that he is the sithilid.

Bamboozled has a plan to clear his conscience. He is teaching himself to read, and one day he is going to learn magic. He plans to one day summon his mothers soul from beyond the grave and ask her what happened that day in the hut. He is making good progress and even located a spell book he tells noone about but studies every night. The book is like nothing he has ever seen in this world.

The spellbook he is studying has great and wonderous pictures in it, such as purple elephants and blue and black zebras, with partially outlined humans with dots completing their structures. He sees happy children in the book next to beautiful pink unicorns, however he hasn’t been able to pronounce a single word in the book. He has managed to memorize the shape of the lettering on the front of the book, and if he ever sees the words anywhere else in the world, he will probably ask what they mean then. Right now the only words he can write, even if he can’t understand them, is “CRAYOLA COLORING BOOK.”

Bio:

Bamboozled

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